She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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