fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
