I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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