You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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