OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
