just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
