im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
