Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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