so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Randomize
