He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
