I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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