some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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