why didn't you poke me back
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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