She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
