All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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