Whatcha textin bout Willis?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
