I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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