hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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