Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
