Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You were trust falling into bushes
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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