adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize