Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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