Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
