Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize