i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
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