So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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