"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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