Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
