I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
