They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
