Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Maybe he injected his testicle?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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