a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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