Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
