i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize