420 ftw
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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