ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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