I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
