whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
