Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
