I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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