About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
