how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
