I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
