so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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