you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
