Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
