are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
