i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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