garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
