White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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