My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Enjoy the penises
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
