you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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