I didn't shave. On purpose
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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