if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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