no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
