i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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