Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
