It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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