this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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