so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
