nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
