I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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