UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
