My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I have tasted many bathrooms
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
