Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
