Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
