I CAN MOONWALK!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Houston, we have a squirter
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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